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Don’t expect a huge crowd in Mexico

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Don’t expect a huge crowd in Mexico

Go for it. You know something’s phony when the NFL doesn’t blow its own horn. Take Sunday night when league history will be made by playing the first regular-season game outside of the United States.

The game is in Mexico City at Estadio Azteca. But there’s been hardly a promotional peep.

The catch is that the teams are the Arizona Cardinals and the San Francisco 49ers. That’s like promising diamonds and sending zirconia. In the case of the Cardinals, cheap zirconia.

No wonder the NFL has abandoned its original prediction of 105,000 fans. Oh, check that number - the capacity is now 85,000 because the NFL is blocking out the first 10 rows “because the fans in those seats might not be able to see the game.”

They’d be better off.

NOTE: Betting on sports is legal in Mexico City. The NFL is going to love that.

LAST WEEK: Brilliant! Gaze in shock and awe at my 12-2 record straight up (29-17 for season, 63 percent). What? Well, we probably shouldn’t even mention the point spread because gambling is wrong. So my 6-8 effort against the jelly (21-24-1 for season) is best left unmentioned.

Denver (2-1) at Jacksonville (2-1) - Jaguars favored by 4. Let’s start with some football philosophy from Denver DE Trevor Pryce: “It all depends on the swing on how do we feel, how do they feel.” Thank you, Dr. Phil. What I remember is that you came to Florida three weeks ago and got trashed by Miami. How’d that feel, Trevor? Jags by 12.

Detroit (1-1) at Tampa Bay (3-0) - Bucs favored by 6 1/2. Hey, it’s a clash of division leaders (snicker). The Lions have a six-game road losing streak. Let’s make it seven. Bucs by at least 10.

Buffalo (1-2) “at” New Orleans (1-2) - No favorite. Everyone outside of Buffalo wants the Saints to be pumped by playing in San Antonio, but they have lost the ball 12 times already this year. And they have given up 20, 27 and 33 points. Not good. Bills by 12.

Houston (0-2) at Cincinnati (3-0) - Bengals favored by 9 1/2. Texans took a week off and made just one mistake. They came back. (Rim shot.) And new Texans offensive coordinator Joe Pendry said all he cared about was the execution of the team - but somebody told him that was illegal, even in Texas. (I’ve got a million of `em.) Bengals by 18.

Indianapolis (3-0) at Tennessee (1-2) - Colts favored by 7. Anybody seen that new show Invasion? If you haven’t, it’s about how aliens have taken possession of the Colts and turned them into defensive monsters. “Peyton, you smell different.” Alien Colts by just 4.

San Diego (1-2) at New England (2-1) - Patriots favored by 5 1/2. Right now you’re telling yourself: “Sure, the Patriots have taken one hit after another, losing key coaches and players, but they are the two-time defending champs who just beat Pittsburgh, so everything is fine, right?” Wrong, baked-bean breath. That sound you hear is another crack in the foundation. In a “How-The-Mighty-Have-Fallen” Upset Special, Chargers by 2.

Seattle (2-1) at Washington (2-0) - Washington favored by 2. Did you even remember Washington is unbeaten? Liar. Anyway, here’s today’s Freaky Factoid: The Seaturkeys have lost by an average of 15 points the past three times they played in the Eastern time zone. Washington by 15.

St. Louis (2-1) at East Rutherford Giants (2-1) - Giants favored by 3. Who could have predicted the Giants would be the team with the potent Manning? But one easy prediction is that the Rams can’t stand leaving home. Giants by 6.

East Rutherford Jets (1-2) at Baltimore (0-2) - Ravens favored by 7. Hey, the Jets got Vinny Testaverde back! Said Vinny: “I’m happy; I’m excited; I’m nervous; I’m anxious.” Wow, he sounds like me waiting for the next Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. What? The game? You’re kidding, right? Ravens by 14.

Dallas (2-1) at Oakland (0-3) - Raiders favored by 3. Remember when this game meant something? This week’s Special Salute goes to the Raiders. Last week against the Eagles, they were penalized for having too many men on the field - 14. In an At-Least-They-Can-Count Upset Special, Cowboys by 11.

Minnesota (1-2) at Atlanta (2-1) - Falcons favored by 6. We mentioned earlier this week that two Vikings were arrested at a late-night gas station and deli, where the Minneapolis elite meet to eat and top off their tanks. Well, teammate Fred Smoot is unhappy about the criticism of his pals: “You’re still human. You ain’t got a lot of church rats running around in here.” Nice image, Mr. Smoot. Falcons by just 3.

Philadelphia (2-1) at Kansas City (2-1) - Chiefs favored by 2. Come on, gang, let’s play the new game that’s sweeping the nation - Name Donovan McNabb’s Injuries! Have you written your answer? OK, the winning entry is (1) bruised chest; (2) lower abdominal strain (but we will accept “sports hernia"); and (3) shin contusion. If you didn’t win, you can play again next week! Healthier Chiefs by 5.

San Francisco (1-2) at Mexico City Cardinals (0-3) - Cards favored by 2 1/2 on Sunday night. Did you know Mexico City was founded in 1325, has a population of 8.7 million in the city (18.1 million in the metro area) and has an average altitude of 7,200 feet above sea level? Where else do you get this stuff? What? The game? Well, in a Nobody-Really-Gives-A-Peso Upset Special, 49ers by 10.

Green Bay (0-3) at Carolina (1-2) - Panthers favored by 7 1/2. Monday night. After the third loss, Packers QB Brett Favre got his usual support from the sympathetic media, then said: “Guys say when you play long enough, you see everything. This is something you don’t want to see.” If that’s true, Brett, how ugly is 0-4 going to be? Panthers by 14.

More: mercurynews.com

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